Alright                                  ladies, it's that time of year once again!!! I                                  think we need to be reminded of a few things. So                                  my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and                                  repeat after me below...                                                                   
The                                  Open Toed Shoe Pledge
As a                                  member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to                                  follow the Rules                                  when                                  wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:                                
I promise to always wear sandals that                                  fit. My toes will not hang                                  over                                  and                                  touch                                  the ground, nor will my heels spill over the                                  backs. And the sides and                                  tops of                                  my feet will not pudge out between the straps.                                
I will go polish-free or vow to keep the                                  polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
I will                                  not cheat and just touch up my big toe.                                
I will sand down any mounds of skin                                  before they turn hard and yellow.
I will                                  shave the hairs off my big toe.
I won't                                  wear pantyhose even if my misinformed                                  girlfriend, coworker,                                  mother,                                  sister                                  tells me the toe seam really will stay under my                                  toes if I tuck it                                  there.                                
If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape,                                  pin, glue or tuck it back!                                  into                                  place                                  hoping                                  it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or                                  toss it.
I will not live in corn denial;                                  rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.                                  Scholl's                                  if my feet need him.
I will resist the                                  urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low,                                  low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small                                  enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out                                  of concern for my safety, and the safety of                                  others. No one can walk properly when standing                                  in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take                                  someone down with me                                  as I                                  fall and break my ankle.
I will take my                                  toe ring off toward the end of the day if my                                  toes swell                                  and                                  begin to                                  look like Vienna                                  sausages.
I will be brutally honest with                                  my girlfriend/sister/coworker when                                  she                                  asks                                  me                                  if her                                  feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has                                  to tell her that her                                  toes are                                  as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy                                  feet look                                  good.                                
I will promise if I wear flip flops that                                  I will ensure that they                                  actually                                  flip and flop, making the correct noise while                                  walking and I will swear NOT                                  to                                  slide or                                  drag my feet while wearing them.                                  
I                                  will promise to go to my                                  local                                  nail                                  salon                                  at least                                  once per season and have                                  a real                                  pedicure (they are about                                  $20                                  or $25 and                                  worth EVERY penny).   
I                                  will promise to throw away any white/off-white                                  sandals that show signs of                                  wear...                                  nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.                                  
Don't                                  ! keep this is to yourself - pass it on to other                                  sisters.
Sent to me from a previous parent in my preschool class... she is hysterical!  Umm... maybe she's trying to tell me something?  No... just hysterical!
 
4 comments:
That was pretty funny! I enjoyed it..all good rules to remember! Please check in at the Altered Books site:)
Love those rules...have to say though, i may be chubby, but my feet are my best features, weird, huh?? For some reason, my feet are skinny and I really try to keep up with my pedicures!!! Maybe I do it so people will look at my feet and not my big butt!!!
Those rules are great - even if it means I need to go through away those white sandals that look the worse for wear. bummer.
ouch, that hurts to look at it.
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